What a Relief

by grown honesty well

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Skywriting 03:16
If I had a dime for every bum I fed, I'd have no dimes If I had rhyme for every time I fled, I'd have no time And you know, you don't even know it And you know, but you won't even show it If I had a ring for every time you said, "You are my life" I'd end this game and take you for my wife, And we'd be fine And you know, you don't even know it And you know, but you won't even show it Try to manipulate fate; it won't work People are too addicted to their way of life
It's never been so clear in my life That I've never been more confused in my life Dive down deep into the lore Take a look at what's been before They're recycling all the plots As if we forgot Life is pointless in a way So be sure to make it pay We used to go to the diner It's where we'd leave our problems behind But we got hit with a battering ram And I forgot who the hell I am We've been down this road before And now it's time to pass go Life is pointless anyway So I'll come back for you one fine day Stare at the pavement till all turns black Then you'll see that you can't go back Life is pointless in what way? So there you go, we have a say!
Patience is a virtue, my friend I'm back in the megalopolis: to what end? I frittered away my freedom Now I'm left wondering what I could've been I had so much promise Now I'm just a piece of real estate So much for being honest! Well, maybe it's not too late Patience is a virtue, my friend Questions about my choices come to no end I know that there's hope yet The clock on the wall doesn't seem to fret I'm a sexual being, But now I'm behind bars Tell me, what's the meaning? What's the use looking at the stars? Patience is a virtue, my friend The plot plays out until we reach the end Follow your path through the darkness Find the heat in this ice fortress Patience is a virtue, my friend And I refuse to surrender to what's been For every moment that I give in, I'll whirl around until I start to spin
I know that it's hard when you can't see your face You know that I'm scarred from that time I reached third base You caught me off guard when you showed up at my place, So I'm writing you this card with the time that you displaced Baby, love myself We sat at the bar on the day you fell from grace Your name was marred by a world that dropped your case You lost your car, your home, your teeth, your lace, And I know that it's hard when you've got nothing to chase Baby, love myself And you sang this song in a dream I have no idea what I mean Your face kept blinking at me It's the one good thing that I've seen Baby, love myself
Coffee, pizza, plates and TV Silly disco, talking in your sleep Furniture store, sad memory Chlorine water, black bikini And I know you will go one day I was told that it's innate And if you want to make a change You're gonna have to go insane Furrowed brow, black butterfly Nature's calling, it's do or die Accidental melody Silly dreaming, please set me free And I know I will go one day I was told that it's my way And if you want to make a change You're gonna have to go insane You're gonna have to feel some pain You're gonna have to pray for rain If you're gonna make a change
Storm King 05:33
Empty park bench maker You will come and take her To the shores of Scotland And let her go When the cold of autumn Greets me one morning I will hug it warmly With short, sharp breaths But when I lie in bed My heart will strike with all The storms that shake my head I will soon recall God's not real And you were touched Now I feel This is too much Parking lot night breakup The school where you grew up I held you tightly In my arms I'm a train crash author Thunderstorm night walker I watch the lightning And call to you But no matter what I say The past will have its way Thus came that fateful day When you flew away God's not real 'Cause you got touched Now I see It was too much When I got my teeth out She fed me hot dogs At the drive-in And we flew away...
Well, I had to match your peacock print dress on prom day My vest was tan to accentuate your more delicate shades Everyone was looking at you, you were something to see Don't know why I thought you might find some feelings for me You're still the one for me It's no secret, I can't see Beyond these fantasies of you Holding my cold body I still remember when you hugged me dressed as a mermaid Our last night we went outside to keep the future at bay Everyone was looking at you, you walked over to me You buried your head in my shoulder, I stood as stiff as a tree There was no one prettier than you, you were bright as could be Without a word, you said goodbye; the rest is history Your skin so pale From plumes to scales You lit up the night And I went blind
Dither 02:45
The future is a scary place that we've been living in And I just wish that you were here so you could hold me tight And maybe we would never fear of having to begin With every day a new frontier, alone in every night This new view of this old city just isn't as nice As the one we kissed in front of when we were young And I don't know how anyone has time for the times It's a miracle if I can get up with the sun I know that we don't know Right now what we can show You know that I'm too slow I hope I can let it go I can run or I can walk or I can just sit here I could stay inside all day and see what I can find You can make that funny face and randomly appear I'll spend the day looking for the trace you left behind Maybe it'll all work out and someday we will see What it is we're meant to do before we have to die And I'm doing my very best to love uncertainty But it's tough when each sunset makes me want to cry I know that we don't know Right now what we can show You know that I'm too slow I hope I can let it go I know that we don't know Right now what we can show You know that I'm too slow I hope I can let you go I don't know if I'll ever get married I don't if I'll ever have kids I just know that I wanted to love you And I hope I can love someone new
Tender Mercy 05:37
Remember when grandpa died Remember when you held me tight Remember when we stayed inside We talked all through the night Remember when I made you cry Remember when we had our fight Remember we apologized I guess that was goodbye And I don't know when we will see each other again I was not sure if you wanted to be my friend This could still mean something if we make it happen And I'm placing my faith in chance Remember when we took a drive Remember when you pulled aside Remember when you felt alive It took me by surprise Remember when your life unwinds Remember when it all subsides Remember how we survived I'm glad we had our time


These songs trace my emotions from a transitional period.
I wrote them between June 2015 and June 2017.
The track order is chronological.

track 1 was written in Jerusalem, Israel
tracks 2-6 were written in Ridgewood, NJ
tracks 7-9 were written in Woodside, Queens, NY

many thanks to everybody who helped me make this album, especially Patrick Budde and Corinne Bass

Thanks for listening! Keep growing, stay honest, and be well.


released January 20, 2018

played by Justin Leider and Patrick Budde
all songs written by Justin Leider

Justin Leider plays acoustic guitar and ukulele and sings lead vocals
Patrick Budde arranged and provided additional instrumentation
Patrick Budde provided additional vocals on tracks 2 and 7
Friends of the Bog provided additional vocals on track 1
Sammy Zeisel provided additional vocals on track 4

recorded, mixed, and mastered by Patrick Budde
recorded at the Preservatory in Chicago in August 2017 (8/12 - 8/21)
original album art by Corinne Bass


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grown honesty well New York, New York

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